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Total number of posts in this guestbook: 138196

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119777. Karen 20-05-2019, 02:27
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despedida de soltero a lo grande, después de una prolongada fiesta con todos los ingredientes que necesitaban, después
de un día de opíparas comidas y con más botellas, cubos de alcohol, y barrabasadas sin fin, decidieron acercarse a un viejo
club de putas, que tampoco eran jóvenes, para allí acabar
con aquella despedida, que querían pasarse a la historia, más bien a la historia de sus jóvenes vidas.
Como ninguno de ellos sobrepasaba los 25 años consideraban que todo lo que hiciesen seria poco.


Se fueron a este club de putas ya maduras, fue porque
ellos sabían que en los que eran más jóvenes, no aceptaban nos, más bien extraño.
Las mujeres que allí encontraron todas eran mayores de 40
años. Era de suponer que estos debían atender
a pensionistas que el gobierno de la nación, los había
condenado casi a la indigencia, olvidando que a estos, también se
les ponía dura y que de cuando en cuando les apetecería, tocar algún culo, aunque este
tuviese 50 años. Estaba claro, que los culos
de sus mujeres, tenían más de 20 años, que los del club.
Y encima, algunos ya no estaban para saltos de armario.
La que no tenia artrosis, había perdido el vello de su chocho,
como también los había que querían que se las tirase
algún joven que después de terminar volviese a empezar; y esto, aquellos
pensionistas ya no lo lograban.

Cuando entraron en el local, que olía a perfume de bajo precio comprado en las tiendas
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Casi era la hora de cerrar. El que llevaba más litros ingeridos de agua de fuego,
- como decían los indios americanos en las películas y
refiriéndose al whisky – acercose a la dueña del prostíbulo que
estaba al final de la barra para preguntarle
cuanto les cobraría por cerrar la puerta del club, quedándose ellos solos con sus pupilas hasta
que se cansasen. La dueña que ya arrastraba sus
60 años con más penas que glorias, le dijo que aquello les iba a costar 2.500€.- Ella sabía que ni con una semana lo sacarían. Como los 2 clientes que allí
había no llevaban idea de marcharse les ofreció no cobrarles si se iban.

Ya con la puerta cerrada, y las luces exteriores también poniendo la
música de maquina a todo volumen empezaron a bailar con aquellas
señoras que ejercían el oficio más antiguo de la humanidad y que tal como se iba calentando el ambiente
e igual que sus clientes acabaron bailando desnudas.
Incluso la muy veterana dueña se añadió a la fiesta.
La pobre, a la que ya se le caían los pechos como si fueran peonzas, mantenía en buena conservación un culo como los que pintaron los clásicos hacia varios siglos.
Ella fue la que primero recibió en este la primera
estocada de la noche. Después, sus pupilas hicieron lo mismo.
Cuando ya llevaban vaciadas más de media docena de botellas de champan, al más aguerrido de aquellos clientes.
Se le ocurrió la parida de la noche, eso sí, que la actora de aquella escena se dejase
fotografiar con el whatsapp, aún que fuese de espaldas.
La elegida aceptó encantada; nunca…. Nunca en su vida, tuvo una petición como aquella.
Todo y que había conocido a lo más florido de la especie humana.
Esta, en la única mesa que había en el club, y ayudándola a subir en ella, para
que no volcase la pobrecita, cumplió admirablemente con la petición de aquel cliente, aunque eso sí,
le costó un poco. Agachándose y en cuclillas encima de la
mesa tanta fuerza, hizo que se le escapó un pedo más que
memorable de raros olores, para después soltar la gran cagada.
Por detrás, el cliente de la petición pudo hacer varias fotos para
la posteridad. Todos los que allí pudieron observar aquella obra maestra,… todos, aplaudieron a rabiar.
Quizá de haber estado allí el gran Dalí, hubiese
podido pintar un lienzo posiblemente de incalculable valor, por ser más bien único.

Una de las colegas de aquella, cargada de champan y más contenta que un ocho, como tenía necesidad,
de hacerlo, se ofreció a repetir la escena.

Para que todo quedase bien en las próximas fotos, entre dos sacaron la
mesa por la puerta trasera en donde había una manguera con agua a presión y la lavaron.

Después, se repitió la esplendida escena. Subieron a la chica
a la que la vejiga ya la apretaba fuertemente esta casi no tuvo
tiempo de agacharse, se le escapó como un torrente toda la carga, tanto… que salpicó al fotógrafo de turno que tenia detrás cámara en mano.

– el olor que deprendió tan fuerte era que al perfume de los chinos con que limpiaban el local, lo barrió como un vendaval.


Esta vez, además de la manguera tuvieron que recurrir a
la fregona para recoger lo del suelo. Después en donde tiraban un litro de aquel liquido
perfumado chino, tuvieron que tirar 3 botellas de
1 litro.

Pasados más de 10 años de aquella noche con despedida de soltero
a la que siguió la boda y posterior – mucho tiempo después – divorcio.
En el imaginario público, aun perduraba la célebre noche de las grandes
cagadas.
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